Yesterday was a weird one, having no job is a real brain strain sometimes..i feel I've kept it together pretty well, i dunno..just fell off the wagon a little yesterday, feeling sorry myself..thought what's the point of pursuing dreams which maybe just that..dreams?
Hell no, we've come too far down the musical road to turn back and do what?..more customer service nonsense? a life of "what if's", "i should have's" & "if only's"?
It's hard sometimes when i can't go to mate's birthdays, gathering's, christening's because i ain't got the cash for travel or I've spent the little cash i have after bills on musical equipment because I'm a son of sound lol
I want to buy Mrs. GhostP nice things, take her out more.. i wanna help my mum and my siblings out and my head say's to me "get a 9-5, wear that suit, make that cash, be satisfied"
but
my
heart..oh my heart..which has always held sway since i was like 12 say's "music is what makes you happy, this is the path chosen for you, it's a longer one but stay the course maaate"...
I can't go back
I can't go back
I can't go back
I've got a good team around me now thankfully, I've stitched up the sails and getting sea worthy, wish me luck!
Glad i got that off me chest : )
I think I'm going to put a mixtape series of sorts together..it's going to be called "the ghost tapes" or something like that, just stuff I'm feeling, tracks passed my way and maybe new demos...got some ideas for it, so watch this space and get ready to download for freeeee!
Interesting things are happening, news as it happens, stay close people.
I might only speak for myself, but I have noticed how many people are afraid of following their hearts (some because they cant bare the uncertainty, some because they are afraid of failing/being wrong, some because they simply dont think they can afford to do it etc) and in my little experience, I have seen how most, if not all, of these people never really seem to be "completely happy", if that makes any sense... I feel like you just described from time to time, asking myself "whats the point?" What's the point in not getting the pay I know I deserve, whats the point in sacrificing time that could be spent on my loved ones, whats the point spending money on my passion when it could be spent on seeing my family more, whats the point in doing all this music biz stuff when so many people are backstabbers and fake and only after their own good etc. But, then I come across people like you, who are so talented and inspiring, and all those silly questions disappear. It is people like you that makes me 100% sure that I made the right choice with taking the road less traveled. I'd say the road of the heart is always the most difficult one to take, but also the most satisfying in a way, no matter the shit you need to put up with on the way and the obstacles you have to overcome, because it leads to true happiness. At least I hope it does... or I have officially fucked myself over big time hahaha I really dragged this comment out, sorry! My point was simple: you are not alone in feeling like this, but don't give up, because you're not alone. Orsi x
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